I have always loved wine, but until recently I was frustrated and intimidated by the secret language and rituals of the swirling, gurgling, nosing, wine-drinking cognoscenti. Deep down, it bugged me that they seemed to know so much more than I did. Part of me was also suspicious that all the fuss was a classic case of "the emperor's new clothes." In an attempt to tutor myself, I invested in a couple of mixed cases of wine and dived in—corkscrew first. Against my will, I was sucked in and quickly discovered that once you learn to trust your own instincts, the great mysteries unmask themselves—regardless of where you are on the wine chain. As a bonus, once you demonstrate an interest in wine, people come out of the woodwork to share their knowledge (and wine) with you.

don't swallow Different parts of your tongue are sensitive to different tastes. The tip senses sweetness; the sides, acidity; the back, bitterness; and the middle, salt. To fully appreciate the virtues of a wine, don't swallow immediately¤roll it all around your tongue and savor the full range of its characteristics. (For those of you with pierced tongues, try not to dribble.)

one is the loneliest number Wine, like sex, can be enjoyed alone, but is infinitely more pleasurable when paired with the right partner. Some fine wines, such as very dry Bordeaux, actually suffer when consumed without food because they need protein to counterbalance their tannins (one of the sources of their dryness). Once you have led yourself to wines you like, the next challenge is understanding the art of matching them with food. Forget the antiquated rules of food-and-wine pairing. Just think in broad strokes and let common sense guide you to wines that enhance the flavors of specific dishes.

Accompany highly flavored foods with full-bodied wines that can stand up to their pungent ingredients. For example, hearty reds such as Italian Barolos, Spanish "gran reserva" Riojas, or California Cabernets are all logical accompaniments for well-seasoned red meats. Medium-bodied reds like a French Burgundy or a California Pinot Noir (both made from the same grape) are most suitable for milder flavors, such as a simply prepared piece of salmon or an herb-roasted chicken. In the whites, a crisp dry Sauvignon Blanc or French Chablis will cut through shellfish or seafoods that are naturally rich (e.g., scallops or lobster) or prepared with lots of butter, cream, or oil. California Chardonnays, often described as being "oaky" or "buttery" are able to hold their own when served with spicy dishes and can also provide a favorable foil for leaner foods, such as a simply prepared piece of fish or chicken, or simple grilled vegetables. And so on.

At a more advanced level of food-and-wine pairing, wines are selected for their natural levels of acidity, sweetness, and fruitiness, to enhance or counterbalance the fats, sugars, salts, spices, and acids of the food they are paired with. There are so many guidelines that it is dizzying to try and digest them all at once (and some even seem to contradict each other). For now, let logic and instinct rule. Eventually, you will discover the combinations that appeal to you and gain the confidence to boldly go where no wine snob has gone before. My favorite fusion is a full-bodied Cabernet Sauvignon and rich chocolate cake.

waiting to exhale There is a lot of mystique attached to the rituals of decanting wines and letting them "breathe." It is true that older red wines do tend to blossom in flavor and complexity after they are uncorked and left to stand. But for a wine to breathe properly, it must be poured out of the bottle, because the amount of surface area at the neck doesn't expose enough of the juice to the air. At home, I pour the first two glasses while I am cooking and let them sit. This simplified version of decanting allows the wine in the glasses, as well as what remains in the bottle, time and room to "hyperventilate" to its heart's content. Even if you do nothing but pour it, a wine will "open up" as you drink your way through the bottle. Becoming conscious of the subtle changes takes you to the next level of awareness. The other reason for decanting is to filter out the sediment that may develop in older wines. If you are lucky enough to be drinking such a wine, keep it stationary for at least an hour. Then steadily pour it into a carafe or pitcher, being careful to trap the sediment in the last few drops of wine¤which should be left in the bottle.

timing is everything At tastings, wines are usually served, in order, from lightest and youngest to oldest and boldest. This rule should be followed only up to the point that the taste buds remain sober. Avoid the temptation to uncork treasured bottles at the end of a night of heavy drinking¤despite the inevitability that the idea will seem inspired at the time (and trust me, no one will attempt to discourage you). Save your most treasured wines for those who will appreciate them. To weed out anyone who would have preferred a Bud but didn't want to inconvenience you, use the following multiple choice quiz: Cabernet is (A) a new Volkswagen convertible; (B) a piece of French furniture; (C) an aromatic, deeply colored grape; or (D) a trendy New York dance club.

zen is now Confucius says, "He who holds out too long for the perfect occasion, or the perfect guest, may leave behind many unopened bottles."

beauty is in the eye of the beholder It is not uncommon for another person to melt over a wine that may seem uninspiring to you¤and vice versa. Don't let a difference in opinion intimidate you, but do let it motivate you to give a wine a second chance. In order to insure a fair trial under any set of circumstances, use your best efforts to block out the distractions in the room and focus your senses on what is in the glass. Sometimes the greatest distractions in judging a wine are its price, label, and reputation. A good way to block out these influences is to conduct your own blind tasting. All it takes are a few paper bags and a homemade scorecard. These tastings are fun to do with friends and inevitably produce results that are surprising, if not treasonous.